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How to be at your best for a first encounter with your soon-to-be ex

best self
Prepare to be your best self

Are you apprehensive about an upcoming event where you'll see your soon-to-be ex for the first time? 

It's understandable. So, let's explore some ways to prepare for this encounter and emerge from it feeling graceful and dignified. Here's the upside: this future meeting provides growth and transformation opportunities. 

Set an intention to be at your best

First and foremost, it's crucial to remember that your behavior reflects you and can significantly impact those around you, particularly your children. Therefore, it's essential to approach this encounter with a clear intention to showcase the best version of yourself. 

Clarify your best self's emotions.

You can name the emotions you want to embody during the event - calmness, composure, joy, or anything else that feels right. By setting these intentions for your emotional state, you can guide your actions and reactions, helping you navigate the encounter gracefully and authentically. 

Bring gifts for your loved ones. 

Think about the positive energy you want to bring to the event - warmth, understanding, love, or any other feeling that resonates with you. Your demeanor can influence the overall mood of the event, so channel these emotions consciously. 

Imagine how you want to be perceived.

You can create a version of yourself at the event. What qualities do you want others to see in you? Whether it's strength, grace, or resilience, strive to embody these traits authentically. Visualize how you want to be perceived by your loved ones, and let that guide your actions. 

Prepare and practice. 

Preparation is vital to confidently navigating challenging situations. Consider role-playing scenarios, practicing relaxation techniques, or seeking support from trusted friends or family members who can provide encouragement and reassurance. These steps can significantly enhance your readiness and confidence. 

Have an exit plan.

While maintaining a positive mindset, it's wise to have a contingency plan - identify an exit strategy or a discreet signal to leave if you feel overwhelmed. Having a plan can alleviate anxiety and give you a sense of control over the situation. 

Carry a touchstone.

Lastly, consider carrying a meaningful item - a symbol of strength and resilience. It can be a piece of jewelry or a sentimental trinket that provides comfort and grounding amidst uncertainty.


You can do this! Facing your soon-to-be ex at a family event may seem daunting, but remember that opportunities for growth, resilience, and newfound strength lie within challenges. When you approach this encounter with intentionality, resilience, and support, you emerge more robust and dignified on the other side than ever before. 

If you need help creating your best-self avatar to guide you through a divorce, don't hesitate to connect with me. This exercise is life-changing and serves you now and forever.


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